A Year to Go

Thru hiking the Pacific Crest Trail is something I have wanted to do since I learned about it in high school. I grew up in the Pacific Northwest and with the Columbia River Gorge in my backyard and an adventurous family, I couldn’t help but fall in love with nature. From snorkeling with beautiful fish in Hawaii to skiing on fresh powder on Mt. Hood, I have always craved adventure. Now the next adventure is calling and in less than a year I will be answering.

I will be documenting my journey through journaling, pictures and videos and all of it can be found here on this website OR on my Instagram account @onwardkyra.

There is less than a year to go until I will be hitting the trail. This is so exciting and yet so scary. I am not worried about my ability to get through the physical challenges like cold nights, hot days, wet gear, etc… the real hard part is going to be the mental toll these challenges will have. I won’t be seeing my friends nearly as much, nor my family, but of course I have tons of people who will come to visit me and hike a week or two, and along with that, I will meet so many amazing people on the trail. I’m worried about feeling guilty if I take a zero day to rest. I constantly worry about what people are thinking and I’m scared that if I take a rest day, I will be seen as weak or incompetent. I’ve heard of so many people who take a zero or two and in that time, realize the trail is not for them. To me, this does not show weakness, this shows courage. Imagine knowing yourself and your body so well that you can make the difficult decision to stop something you had spent so much time preparing for because you’ve realized it wasn’t right for you. That’s amazing! That’s like getting out of a nasty relationship you’ve been in for years, or that dead end job you thought you’d have the rest of your life… At one point it was the thing you were looking forward to and then you tried it and it SUCKED so you changed course. All of these things take so much courage and I know (and hope) that when I’m on the trail, I will have the same courage to keep pushing on even when my mind is telling me that I’ve let people down.

Personal growth is something I have been working on my whole life. I have been in counseling since 7th grade and am always practicing old and new ways to better my mind and body. On the trail I am most looking forward to the mornings. I have many day dreams about what life will be like and one of my favorites is (I know this is cheesy but please stay with me) practicing my senses. When I used to get overwhelmed, I would call my dad and he would ask me, “What do you hear?” I imagine waking up in the morning to the sound of rain hitting my tent, birds chirping from the trees above, a crackling fire one of my friends has already started, maybe a babbling brook in the distance, and the wind in the leaves. “What do you see?” My tent lightly blowing in the breeze, my pack laying at my feet, my sleeping bag snug around me. “What do you smell?” Campfire smoke and sausage, wet dirt, my own BO (man I should find a place to shower). “What do you feel?” Cold air on my face, the warm socks on my feet, the deflated air mat under my body (I guess it’s time for new gear, haha). And next thing I know I’m breathing slower and laughing about small inconveniences that might have made me cry five minutes earlier. This five to six month trip isn’t going to be just a walk in the park… somedays I will have sun to feel on my face and smile as I feel the warmth and maybe listen to a Harry Potter book on tape for the 2nd time that trip. Other days I will be putting on all of the clothes that I brought with me, huddled in a tiny tent with two other people for warmth because we got caught in a storm that didn’t show up on our radar. None the less, I cannot wait to be in these moments and know that I will get through because I’ll have my father’s voice in my ear reminding me to FEEL and BREATHE.

I haven’t been spending too much time out hiking lately because I have had so much going on between two weddings, a puppy and work, so here are some gratitudes I’ve had and photos of my life recently!

Thank you Allyson for always wanting to hang out, eat pizza and letting me crash your family camping trip. Also congratulations on getting married!! I am so excited for you and Vince and can’t wait for more game nights with you guys as a married couple! You are such a good friend and I am so thankful that we’ve been able to get to know each other more and that you didn’t get too weirded out by my “Bach Shit Crazy” dancing at your bachelorette party!

Jaason, thank you for being so genuinely you. These past two and half years have been so fun with you. I’m so thankful for your patience and communication and willingness to work through hard times with me. We have taught each other so many fun and useful things like when you showed me how to snowboard (and didn’t get mad when I sliced your nose because I couldn’t stop), and when I taught you how to drive a manual car so that we could drive in Scotland, or when you taught me how to change my own oil before we drove across the country to live in Chicago together… thank you. Here’s to many more ice cream dates, “new to me” movies and dinners on our patio before I leave next year!

And Momma. You have the best hugs in the entire world! Your hugs have magic in them! Your hugs are so powerful that I can feel them through a text message. Whenever I have a bad day I just imagine your love wrapping me up like a burrito. Its the first thing I look for when I come to your house and the last thing I want before I leave. Your love is so great and powerful, everyone you meet can feel your warmth. Thank you for always showing our family unconditional love and encouraging us to always try our hardest and to be ourselves. I think I turned out pretty fantastic (;